


love is a losing game

by jaskiertm



Category: True Blood (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, True Blood (Season 4)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:06:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaskiertm/pseuds/jaskiertm
Summary: Over the course of the year Sookie Stackhouse has been missing, Jason Stackhouse, her brother, has been working tirelessly as a sheriff deputy to try and find her.  He didn't think he'd find himself in the process...  or Eric Northman, for that matter.Or, the completely and 100% true story of how Jason and Eric fell in love.  Complete season four redo.  Completely canon divergent and completely self indulgent.  uwu
Relationships: Eric Northman/Jason Stackhouse
Comments: 22
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sookie Stackhouse goes missing and the forces rally to try and find her. Eric Northman buys her house and Jason ends up helping with the renovation. Over the course of the year and their efforts of looking for her never ceasing, Jason and Eric start to care about each other more than they really should. Sookie returns, Eric loses his memory, and witches really like shoving their noses where they really don't belong.

It happens the night before Sookie comes back.

"Do you have to do that right by the door?"

And the door itself boasts its displeasure, loud creaking of the old hinges as Jason steps down onto the porch. Big blue eyes glare back at him but they mean no harm, not anymore. Eric just holds the joint out to him and Jason is quick to take it. He sucks a big drag of it, lets the smoke chill in his lungs before blowing it out, watching it billow between them as he takes another hit. Eric just watches him, stoic and stony as always while he sorts through the rolodex of words in his head until he speaks up.

"No, but it bothers you. So I do."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Real mature. Always a fuckin' grown up, ain't you? All this fuckin' smoke wafting through the house. Just painted those damn walls and you're gonna get this shit stuck to everything - it'll smell like fuckin' Woodstock in there-"

"Are you quite finished?"

Jason rolls his eyes - again - and hands the joint back to Eric, who has since turned to perch himself against the white picket railing that encases the porch. The wraparound holds some of Jason's dearest childhood memories... it feels odd to be smoking weed with a vampire on it so many years later, but no one really knows how their life will end up, hm? Jason supposes it's for the best, taking few more steps out onto this big porch and to lean against the railing beside Eric.

Eric's expression seems so soft, features less harsh in this milky moonlight that shines on them like some kind of weighted blanket. Jason feels heavy, like he can't move too fast, but maybe that's just the weed. Maybe it's just the way Eric looks at him.

"The smell never lingers, anyway."

Oh, please. Jason rolls his eyes. "My gran would roll in her grave if she knew I was smoking weed out here."

Eric just smiles, like it's a completely normal thing for him to do. Like he's the kinda guy that shoots the shit with you and helps you rebuild your sister's house like she's gonna come back anytime soon, like he's a good guy. Like he's someone you would want to fall in love with and don't just accidentally happen to do so while rebuilding your missing sister's house like she's gonna come back any time soon... It's complicated. Aren't all things?

Still, it's been a good minute since Eric has said anything and perhaps that makes this better, that he's chosen to be quiet so Jason can just look at him. Strong, sure cheekbones and that sturdy jaw... Maybe it's not love. Maybe whatever this gaping, aching hole in Jason's heart is, it's just because he misses Sookie. Jason's too stupid to fall in love, doesn't have the character for it, doesn't have the intellectual ability or the reasoning to do so. He's dumb, country, hillbilly and an idiot. He's not smart enough for this. He's not good enough or right enough or damn near worth it enough to fall in love. Love is for good people... not people like Jason. Jason, who falls in love with the wrong people, like the person in love with his sister.

"Perhaps it's best not to tell her, then."

It just makes Jason smirk, roll his eyes and shove at Eric like they're old friends.

The weed makes Jason feel like he's moving through jello, warm and heavy, and it seems to make Eric feel the same way. He seems so calm, elbows resting on the ledge while he's leaned over it, blue jeans something shy of too tight but they hug his huge thighs and make Jason wonder if he's ever been straight his entire life. Jason's gaze follows the heavy curvature of Eric's backside to the dip of his lower back, the white tank top that sits on his body looks like it's been painted on there but Eric's been tugging at the hem all night. It's real. That stark white against Eric's skin looks kinda like an optical illusion, doesn't it? He's got that little Scandinavian tan that's so natural but his skin looks almost translucent, doesn't it?

"What are you looking at?"

Eric is smirking like he knows exactly what Jason is staring at.

"Nothin'. Shut up. You thirsty?" Jason shakes his head and pushes off the railing, nearly tripping as he goes back inside. Eric doesn't follow right away and Jason thanks his lucky stars that he has a second to breathe... just a second.

This house, thanks to the two of them, looks just like it did when Jason was a kid. He's never questioned Eric's dedication to such a thing, just feels lucky that someone had the decency to buy it and treat it right. It was raining on a night that Jason drove by to see the lights on, one truck outside, power tools covered with tarps on the porch and some old Big Mama Thorton blasting from a speaker in the kitchen. Inside tearing up the flooring was Eric Northman, handyman's belt on and all, singing along like it was a normal thing for him to do. Yes, there was a contractor and a designer and a decorator, a crew of people slated to start work soon, but Eric enjoyed getting his hands dirty.

That's what he'd said, at least.

Jason doesn't remember offering to help, nor does he remember Eric asking for it, but what really matters, Jason supposes, is that it happened. Always after a shift. Always after clocking out, he'd pull up in his squad car and help Eric get to work. Sometimes the crew would be there, vampires that worked the night shift, but mostly it was just them. Eric taught him to demo a whole kitchen. Eric taught him how to lay tile, how to paint cabinets, how to install sinks and how to do basic electrical work. When they took breaks, they worked on Sookie's case. Any table you looked at, next to design plans would be case files, leads that lead to no where and witnesses that were just prank calls.

When Jason picks up his beer, it's cold, and it feels good against his fingers. It's something that grounds him, and the chill from the open fridge brings him back to life, a little bit. He's nice and high, that floaty feeling that makes him smile to himself is sweet and soft, like clouds. 

Thirsty. He's thirsty. Eric!

He can do this - Jason concentrates far too hard on picking up the bottle of True Blood. He heard from Hoyt who saw first hand Jessica drink this stuff and it's apparently garbage. Eric drinks it with a straight face. Insists you crack open the bottle, add exactly 7 drops of Tabasco, and microwave it for 1:35 seconds and that's the only way he'll take it, but he drinks it. Maybe it's to humor Jason. Eric hasn't ever tasted him or asked, but Jason is polite and will pick up the six pack when he grabs his beer. Eric prefers B+. He says it's spicier.

Why the fuck do I know that?

He can feel Eric's eyes on him from the back door - he's watching Jason make his blood, ready to judge him at a moment's notice. Maybe Eric might be trying to startle him, too, scare him, give his high brain and tired body a rush but Jason is making art, here. Seven drops of Tabasco exactly. Put the lid on and shake it. Jason tries not to think too hard about shaking a bottle of fake blood for the vampire standing behind him. Take the cap off. One minute and thirty-five seconds.

"Do you really still think I'm gonna make it wrong?"

From behind him, Eric huffs a small laugh, stepping into the house and letting the screen door close behind him.

"No, but I enjoy making you squirm."

"Didn't your mama ever tell you not to play with your food?"

"She did, but rarely do the well-behaved ever have any fun."

Ding.

The smirk on Eric's face is fucking hypnotizing, so the ding from the microwave is welcomed. It startles him, but he retrieves the bottle from inside it anyway. Eric sits at the table, and Jason joins him not a minute later with the blood and beer and sits right beside him. Not across, too far away.

Jason isn't sure what it is about Eric that implores him to just watch Eric fucking exist, but here we are. Eric reaches forward and grabs the neck of the bottle. He smiles at Jason, something small but genuine as he tips the glass to his lips. Jason doesn't know how else to describe the way Eric's throat works around what he swallows other than mesmerizing. How fucking gay. Jason quickly reaches for his beer and throws back a big swig. Anything to distract him. Do not look at Eric. Do not.

"Thank you," says Eric in that damningly low voice of his. Jason looks back at him and Eric is no longer looking at him but staring at some spot on the table. It's new, delivered a few days ago, in fact. Eric had picked it out because Jason couldn't remember what the old one had looked like. He thinks this is better than whatever was here before.

"What? What are you thinking about?"

Eric gets a funny look on his face, and his eyes look up to meet Jason's. "I don't remember the last time I fed. I think it's been so long that this kind of tastes... not bad."

Jason grimaces. "Okay, that's nasty. I can't help you there, buddy."

Eric rolls his eyes and lets his fingers stroke the neck of his bottle. It's probably completely innocent. Extremely innocent. No funny business here. He looks around the kitchen, really takes in the work that they've done like he's gonna ask Jason for the thousandth time if it's right.

"It's right. I swear it."

It's preemptive, Jason saying it before Eric even asks it. He'll never stop reassuring him because isn't that something that screams dedication - that he bought her house and remodeled it after all the damage that had been done at the hands of vampires and supernaturals. Bill gave up after a few months, maybe three, and a year and two weeks later here they are. Nearly two weeks to the day tomorrow that she went missing and every lead is as cold as the one before it, but still, Jason and Eric do this. Fix the house, talk leads, share a blood and a beer, and call it. 

So many sleepless nights, to be honest, had been spent here with Eric. Talking to him, getting to know him. Learning that he'd been wrong about Eric this entire time, and asking Eric's forgiveness. He'd said it was okay, that Jason didn't need it because there was nothing to be forgiven. It's easy for him to be the bad guy because that's what people expect, isn't it? Easy to be the scapegoat...

Jason doesn't think that.

Eric is docile now, calm and soft and Jason wants to reach out and touch him. Maybe he's had too much weed, but, Jesus, can't he have one thing? These feelings roll in Jason's stomach in waves, the need to touch him, to be touched, to feel him, and to wonder if he's really as cold as all the others.

But the kitchen is right, and Jason tells him so, and that makes Eric look back over at him with a start - blank expression before some warm shadow of a smile spreads across his lips. He knows, Jason. He knows.

"Thank you. I'll believe it eventually." Eric leans forward and props his head up with the heel of his hand, small sigh from his lips as he rubs at his eyes. "No matter how much I sleep, I never feel rested. I never feel like I've slept at all. It's been one year."

Oh, Eric. Shut up.

"I know." Jason! Shut up! "I know, but... you know, what we been sayin' all along, right? If one of us gives up, both of us gotta give up, and I ain't quittin' yet. Okay?" He leans forward, too, moves Eric's arm and it makes Eric look at him, shocked that Jason would have the audacity to even touch him, let alone force his gaze. "Look at me: don't you start talking like that to me. Not now."

Eric deflates, if only a little, to lean back and roll his eyes. "I know. I didn't say that. I'm just very tired." 

And Eric says such a thing so earnestly that it makes Jason's heart ache. Jason leans forward and puts his hand on Eric's shoulder and in that moment Eric feels about ten thousand times closer than he was before. Jason can smell his cologne, see the silvery-blonde hairs that dust his collarbone and chest. Fuck.

"I know you are... I know, because I am, too." Jason's voice is soft, and he licks his lips before trying to speak again, but he still doesn't remember when Eric got so close to him. He's in Jason's space, god, fuck, his eyes are so blue. "I'm... tired, too. I am, but I got you, don't I?"

"Yes, you do."

Jason can't stop looking into those endless ocean eyes and how they seem so lost and scared.

"I'm telling you, Eric. You got me. In... in ways I don't... in ways I can't-"

"But why can't you? Why?"

Jason is taken aback by the ferocity with which Eric speaks. It's not the first time they've fought and it won't be the last, but they've never fought about this. Never spoken about this aloud before.

"Why can't I? Eric! You know why, and you know why you shouldn't either!"

The vampire is quiet for a moment, looks like he might say something profound, but then Jason is met with more silence as Eric shakes his head, reaches for his bottle again and Jason finds himself pounding his fist on the table in anger.

"Why can't you ever just be hones with me?! Why can't you ever just take that dumb, vampire mask off for twenty fuckin' minutes and just talk to me?! Why am I always prying when you're a-a grown god damn man!"

"You want me to say that I have feelings for you, Jason? That I am in love with you? What would the point of such a confession be, hm? Would it change anything?" Eric seems almost desperate to leave, leg bouncing with nerves. "Does it change anything, Jason?"

He just stares at Eric in disbelief, maybe shock, he's not sure.

"It... it changes everything, Eric."

"No. I can't believe that."

"Why? Why not? Because I'm a human and you're a vampire? Because 12 months ago you were in love with my sister? She's missing, Eric! We been lookin' for her for twelve and a half months and we never get any closer! She's fuckin' gone!"

"Don't you think I know that?!"

The boom of Eric's voice is nearly deafening, but it creates silence between them anyway. Jason doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything.

He kisses Eric instead.

They finally meet in the middle and their lips touch and somehow everything just seems right. How Eric absolutely fucking melts into the touch, how he sighs gently against Jason's lips and wastes no time kissing Jason right back. It feels right, despite how very, very wrong this is. It feels like the most at home he's felt in a year, it feels like the culmination of every bad thing that's happened to them has just... disappeared.

This kiss turns into another, turns into Eric's tongue in his mouth, turns into-

"Jason, wait. Wait, stop, we-"

"We shouldn't. Fuck."

But oddly enough, their kisses don't stop.

It really is some kind of incredible, how willing Eric is to kiss him like this. Such a magnificent thing that he feels so cold to the touch and yet his kisses are so god damn warm? Eric wastes no time, and thank god for that, right? He's shoving Jason's flannel off his shoulders as Jason is tugging that leather jacket off Eric's. It's frantic, frenzied, and altogether perfect. Two planets in each other's orbit, and they were bound to crash together, right? That's what's happening - Jason's entire world is imploding while he kisses the man that's in love with his sister. Was in love with his sister. Fuck.

Fuck.

The new table is sturdy and takes Eric's weight when Jason picks him up by the hips and puts him on it. Eric's giant thighs part like Jason was fucking meant to slide right in here, and while Jason kisses his way down Eric's jaw, he gets his jeans open.

"Off, come on!"

A few grunts from both of them, hurried kisses against lips and Eric isn't wearing any fucking underwear. Did he know this was gonna happen? God, his thighs are so thick and solid, and it's a pleasure for Jason to kneel between them and lick a stripe over Eric's balls and up the shaft of his cock. Vampire grips the edge of the table and he moans, especially when Jason sucks the head of his dick into his mouth. Perfectly uncut and long, red and almost pulsating while Jason blows him. Eric tangles a hand in Jason's hair and he smirks while he swallows Eric down and presses a finger to his hole. He didn't know Eric was capable of making noises like that, high keening moan in the back of his throat that sounds like something out of a fucking porn. Jason even moans around him as he palms his own cock through his jeans.

"Jesus, fuck. Jason- please-"

Jason pulls off his cock with a wet pop, only to lean back down and suck at the head between his lips. The sensation rocks Eric's hips forward and shoves his cock all the way into Jason's mouth. Choking on this dick, if that's how he dies, then he dies a happy fuckin' man.

Jason is filthy, pulls off of Eric with a mouthful of spit and precome and spits it right at Eric's hole, and he smirks while it puckers for him. He presses a finger into the tight muscle, lets Eric acclimate to the pressure and the sensation before he starts probing inside of him, sliding his finger through the wetness only to plunge it back into the depths of Eric. He's being a little rough but Eric's reactions tells him it's warranted. He likes it. One finger becomes two becomes three and Jason is fucking Eric open on his fingers, pressing kisses to his inner though, stroking his dick while he does it, listens to the beautiful sounds that come from the vampire he's working open.

It doesn't stop there, because Eric sits up, pulls Jason up into a kiss and moans into his mouth. So slutty, so fucking hot and sexy that Jason could come right fucking now if he wanted to, so he pulls his fingers free from Eric's ass and uses the slick to stroke his own cock, lips never leaving Eric's as he shoves his jeans off his hips and lines himself up at Eric's hole. The kisses never stop, never stop, even as Jason pushes himself into Eric and this becomes something they'll never come back from.

It happens the night before Sookie comes back, on the brand new table, in the kitchen of Sookie's fucking house.

Jason Stackhouse fucks Eric Northman across the kitchen table, but it doesn't feel like fucking. It feels like a culmination of everything, feels like the beginning of something. Jason's hips pound into Eric's, sound of skin slapping against skin that goes so perfectly with their moans. Jason can't get close enough, even with Eric pressed so close against him, legs hooked on Jason's hips, his arms around Jason's neck, his lips on Jason's, and Jason's hands touching everywhere they can. It's frantic and messy, loud and imperfect but it feels better than anything he's ever felt before. Eric is tight and searing and he feels so fucking good that Jason feels that tight electricity pooling at the base of his spine, the pit of his belly, he's gonna come.

"Eric, fuck-"

"Do it, Jason. Fuck, fuck me-"

And they come at the same time, Jason into Eric and Eric across their chests. It's the hardest Jason has ever come in his life, so fucking hot, can't help it, leans down to lick up Eric's come from Eric's chest, licks a broad swipe right up his neck to his lips and he kisses him, two more thrusts into that perfect hole before he pulls out. He only gets about half way before Eric is grabbing for Jasons's hips, pulling him back, shoving him back in and he moans against Eric's mouth.

"Not yet, not yet," he says, arms snaking around Jason's neck. He's keeping Jason trapped against him and he has no fucking objections, leaning forward to kiss him even more and press against him and into him even more.

"Fuck, you're gonna kill me."

"If I haven't done it by now, I think it's safe to say that your survival is guaranteed."

And Jason laughs against his lips, irritated that Eric could even joke at a time like this, so he shoves his hips into him again. The moan from Eric's lips is fucking worth it.

"Jason," Eric says, his lips still pressed against his, arms still snaked around his neck and they just can't stop breathing each other in. "Jason, we..."

"Shh, I know. Come on."

And with that, Jason is careful pulling out of Eric. He watches with fire in his eyes as his come leaks from Eric's hole, but he's quick to grab the flannel he was wearing and clean him up. Both of them up. Jason is so careful, reverent even, as he wipes up the mess he's made of Eric's skin. Must be careful. Eric isn't fragile by any means but he's still precious, isn't he?

The couch is much more comfortable, and god, doesn't Eric fit so right against him? Head on Jason's chest while they lay here in front of the fire. It seems so normal, doesn't it? Seems so right to have Eric against him like this, cuddled and safe in the security of Jason's arms. Like they've been doing this for years.

"Eric, listen... I didn't just... kiss you because-"

But Eric shakes his head. "Jason-"

"No, let me finish. Please?" Eric nods against him and presses a kiss to his chest. "I didn't just kiss you because you... confessed all that stuff to me. I kissed you because I feel the same way. I don't know if I can say it, but I... I know how I feel. I don't care about anyone else, I just care about you. About us. Please promise me you ain't gonna leave me, too. Not after this..."

Eric lifts his head off Jason's chest and kisses him soundly.

"I'm not leaving you. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hello! this is my design. fuck crystal and fuck the werepanthers. uwu. please enjoy my gay fan fiction.

There are so many things he's not allowed to tell Eric - that he loves him, that he's probably always loved him, that he'll choose this over anything else any day of the week. Or night. He almost can't believe that it's happened, and to be honest, would hardly believe it was happening to him if he wasn't seeing it before his own eyes. Eric Northman splayed on top of him, kissing his way down Jason's chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth and giggling when Jason gasps and arches underneath him.

"You like that?"

Jason hisses, reaches out to slide his fingers through Eric's hair and cup the back of his head. "I fuckin' love it. Love all of this. Whatever the hell you're doing. I love it."

Eric just grins that cheshire grin and licks his nipple this time, pulls it into his mouth and sucks, bites it just enough to make Jason gasp, makes that grip on his hair a lot tighter because he can't stand being teased like this. He has half a mind to curse Eric right here but then he's at Jason's groin and nuzzling that dark patch of hair right above his cock, rubs his face against it and inhales like he's scenting Jason and it makes him feel like an animal, like some monster's fucking _prey_ and it makes him moan, god damn. He feels like such a slut, but he can't particularly bring himself to care. Who knew Jason Stackhouse would be a fang banger? But, he's not. It's not just a fetish. It's not just a one-off, mistake, never see or call each other again.

No, Eric swallows the length of Jason's dick in one fell swoop and Jason makes a noise he had no idea he was capable of making, Jesus Christ. High, keening moan in the back of his throat while he struggles for purchase against the couch. Brand new couch that literally got delivered not two days ago and they're disgracing it by fucking on it. Oh, well? Eric's doing things with his tongue that Jason can only say is witchcraft, tongues the slit of Jason's cock, sucks at the head while fondling his balls and Jason's gonna blow, he's gonna come right down Eric's throat, he's so close, right there-

"Fuck, Eric, what the fuck!"

Bastard pulls away just as Jason swears he's gonna come. Eric grabs the base of his dick and squeezes, makes Jason arch his back and cry out, grabbing and reaching for Eric to beg for forgiveness-

"Not yet."

That's all he fuckin' says as he slides back up Jason's body, slithers like a god damn snake as he catches Jason in a kiss, dark and dirty and he can taste himself on Eric's tongue and he moans into it, hands sliding up Eric's back, down his sides to cup that giant ass before Eric starts maneuvering him. Leans him back against the couch, holds him there with one hand as Eric straddles his hips and oh god, oh god, Eric is lining up Jason's cock with his hole and sitting down on it so slowly that Jason thinks he might die. His fingers are digging temporary welts into the skin of Eric's sides, grabbing him harder and trying to control this but Eric just laughs, breathless, clenches around the head of Jason's cock and that's it, he's gonna die. Right here-

"Eric, if you don't fuckin' quit I'm gonna come-"

"So don't."

Mother fucker!

Eric reaches up to cup Jason's cheek, taps him once, twice - "Look at me. I want to see you when I do this-" and he slides down, slowly seats himself on the length of Jason's dick and Jason can't hardly see anymore. His vision goes white on the edges, tries to focus but all he can see is the thick lines of Eric's throat, how his veins pulse and jump as his throat struggles around the moans that fall from his lips. Eric is so tight, so slick, so fucking good, and his moans are enough to make Jason come right there. His brows are furrowed, chest heaving with breath he doesn't need as he tries to adjust to the intrusion of Jason's cock. He keeps clenching and all they do for several moments is sit there, looking into each other's eyes and moaning, exchanging breath and kisses, tightening their hold on one another. Jason reaches between them to grab Eric's dick, careful, not too hard, just to tease him and it works, sends the vampire shaking as he struggles to move, struggles to lift himself only to slide right back down. Jason throws his head back against the cushions behind him, moves his hands to grab Eric's hips.

Eric is skilled, swivels his hips once, twice before the head of Jason's cock finds Eric's prostate and he jumps, moans so high in his throat it should be fucking illegal.

"C'mon, baby, come on - move for me, that's it, Jesus fucking Christ, Eric-"

"Fuck, Jason... fuck, you feel so good-"

This exchange of words lasts only temporarily between them as Eric comes, thick white ropes of come across Jason's stomach and chest, but he doesn't stop, doesn't stop riding him, doesn't stop grinding his hips into Jason's, doesn't stop fucking Jason and it must be that vampire stamina because Jason's about ready to die. Eric just leans forward and licks his own come from Jason's chest, and Jason can't help the loud moan that follows while he watches this. It's too much, to much pressure and too much tight wetness and too much stimulation and he comes, shoots inside Eric like a rocket as he convulses, thighs clenching, hips snapping up into Eric's tight hole, fingers pressing far too hard into Eric's hips as Eric comes again, lifts himself up one more time only to slam back down just as they both finish.

Jason isn't sure if he blacks out but when he opens his eyes again, Eric has slumped against him, arms around his neck and their foreheads pressed together. Jason can't breath, but he kisses Eric anyway, his hands sliding up Eric's back so he can hug him good and proper, hands all over him. This was the right answer because Eric moans into Jason's mouth and Jason just grins against his lips.

"I could stay like this forever," he says, nipping at Eric's lips. "Either that, or I'll die here and be happy. God damn, baby-" and Jason knows that if a vampire could blush, maybe Eric would be. He's smiling this private little smile just for Jason, leaning forward to capture his lips in a deeper kiss. Maybe Eric smiles like that because Jason keeps calling him that. He'll call him a precious princess if it keeps that look on his face.

"We don't have forever - it'll be dawn in a few hours."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Way to ruin the moment, dear."

It makes Eric roll his eyes again but Jason is blessed with another kiss, and another. Eric is careful when he stands, Jason's soft cock falls out of him easily, and he's watching in awe as some of his come follows with it, makes him moan, feels like his heart is caught in his chest. He wonders if Eric would let him eat his own come from his ass, but that feels like something you do with someone you're in love with.

Not that... not that Jason... It's...

"You're thinking far too loud," and Eric saves the day by planting a brief kiss on his lips before walking back into the kitchen. Hopefully for a towel. 

He is, to be honest. In love with him... but do you say that? Would a vampire even care if a measly little human were in love with them? Would Eric of all vampires care that a measly little human was in love with him? He can't bear the thought any longer, clears his throat and tries to keep the mess on his own skin instead of the brand new couch. Hopefully it's not too late. Jason hears water running in the kitchen, the fridge open and close... and something about this just feels normal. Nothing in Bon Temps is ever normal, so why does this feel so right? Why does it feel that much better to feel a warm cloth against his skin and Eric's lips on his own, gifting him these sweet kisses for free like he deserves them, like he's earned them? Eric doesn't shy away, nor does he stop his ministrations. Jason almost feels bad that Eric did all the work and Jason's the one getting spoiled.

"Hey, come here-" and Jason's grabbing the rag from him, taking Eric by the hand and pulling him back down to straddle Jason's thighs. His thighs seem to part like they belong to Jason and it's almost enough to make him hard again. It's incredible to him that someone as powerful and strong as Eric is allowing Jason to just move him, pull him... pepper kisses across his lips while his hands make quick work of the mess across Eric's chest. Eric just looks down at him, watches as Jason worships him. Eric hums, he's pleased, and Jason's heart flips in his chest. He feels warm and happy and good, proud that it's him who makes Eric make these sounds. Time seems to stop in this no place between their kisses, how naturally Jason's hands settle at the small of Eric's back, and how Eric's arms drape across his shoulders. Like they were made for this.

That sounds really fuckin' gay but it's post nut clarity, okay?

The last kiss settled against Jason's lips is graciously gifted by Eric. He's cool, not cold, but it feels nice either way. Jason slides his hands down to Eric's thighs and gives them a squeeze.

"Hi."

God, the smile that Jason gets for that... it's fucking electrifying. So small and private but it reaches all the way to those pretty blue eyes.

Jason's a goner. Truly.

"Hi." Eric is just looking at him, looking into his eyes and studying his face. He wishes he could hear what Eric was thinking, wishes he had whatever kinda mumbo jumbo runs in his family that gave Sookie and Grandaddy Earl the ability, but he's just normal. Eric moves a hand to cup Jason's face, and it feels like this quite moment might come to a halt, but Eric simply lets his thumb run over the apple of his cheek. He would have hardly believed that Eric was capable of being so soft, but now that it's happening and he's looking up into those cerulean-blue eyes, well... Jason's a goner. Well and truly.

"What're you thinkin' about?"

Eric shakes his head. Maybe he's not willing to tell him, but then Eric opens his mouth to speak, only to sigh instead. He seems to be gathering his thoughts, pointedly deciding exactly what it is he wishes to say. He's always liked that about him - he thinks before he speaks. He seeks to be understood and wants to achieve it in the most streamline way possible.

"I... don't know. You. Tonight. Everything else."

It's Jason's turn to shake his head, and he's taking Eric's hand in his and bringing it to his mouth, kissing the back of it before he holds onto it. He looks up at Eric and says, "maybe... maybe it's best we don't talk about it. At least... for tonight. Can't we just have one night where it's about... us? Where everything is about us and we ain't worryin' about everyone else?" He sighs, too, more tired than he was before this but he'll never sleep again to get to talk to Eric so intimately like this. "Ain't worryin' about this house or the town or Bill or-or anyone or anything else. Just gimme one night where I got you all to m'self and then... and then tomorrow, we can worry about everything else. Alright?"

It works, because whatever thoughts Eric had seem to be fleeting.

"Okay."

"Okay. But... if you're tryin' to talk about _us_ and not anybody else or anything else, then I guess... then that's fine. Ain't it?"

Eric nods, settling against him like he's finally started to relax.

"Maybe it is about you."

Jason smirks. "Oh? What about me? How handsome I am? How fuckin' incredibly amazin' I am at sex? How you're so madly in love with me you can't even stand it?"

It was supposed to be a joke, but Eric just looks at him and says, "Yes. All of it."

Jason's mouth goes dry. "All of it?"

He nods, leaning forward, lets his lips barely touch Jason's in a soft kiss, bare press of lips. "Yes."

This ends up being the best and also the worst day of Jason's life.

They don't say it, I love you, but they do. Love each other. Hinted at in maybe more ways than one. It ends up not just being the couch and the kitchen table that get christened by their sex, it's also the stairs, the bed in the guestroom, the shower in the master bedroom... it's incredible. All the ways he can finally touch Eric and finally _love_ Eric and finally, finally not feel guilty for all the sordid thoughts and feelings he's had for the last year. It's surprisingly intimate, the entire affair. Soft and sweet, supple and dreamy and Jason knows he'll never be able to live without this.

There's no one Jason worries about - Gran is gone, though she'd just want him to be happy. Sookie is gone and it doesn't look like she's coming back, no matter how hard they try... why should he feel guilty for wanting to be loved? For wanting to love someone?

It's the first time Jason's ever really been in love, and he knows it. Sure, he's fleeting and he's juvenile and he's a womanizer and a slut and he's swore he's been in love a million times before, but... it never felt like this. It was _never a stand in the shower and just hold each other_ kinda love, was never a _look into each other's eyes and not say anything for a while_ kinda love, wasn't ever a _lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling while you hold hands_ kinda love. This is that kinda love, and they've done every single one of those things tonight.

He watches Eric get dressed and his heart feels like it's breaking. He's gotta wait a whole day to see him again? Just because of the sun?

"Unfortunately."

Jason just scoffs, pulls the blankets up over his body and just rolls his eyes. He's trying to throw a tantrum but Eric just continues - pulls his t-shirt over his head, slides his jeans up those thick thighs and all Jason can do is watch. It's like he's been fucking hypnotized.

"You sure you don't wanna try out the cubby today?"

"You will see me this evening." It's matter of fact, like how could Jason have possibly thought otherwise? However, he does look at Jason rather fondly, and boy, doesn't that make his heart soar. "As soon as the sun sets. I have some paperwork at the bar, and then, as soon as that's finished..." Eric leans over the side of the bed and kisses Jason soundly. "I'm all yours."

All his. Wow.

Jason just grins up at him. He feels taken care of. Feels safe for once in his life.

"All mine... I like the sound of that. Are we... are we tellin' anyone about this? About... us?"

As Eric rises, he seems to honestly contemplate an answer. He's grabbing his coat, shrugging it onto his shoulders, lets out a useless sigh and seems to go through every possibility in his head before he gives a response.

"I think, perhaps... that's at your discretion." Jason's confused, cocks his head to the side, and that's when Eric sits beside him. "If you want to tell people. I know we promised not to speak about other things, but you fucked your missing sister's ex. I'm not sure how that will go over with the townsfolk."

"Jesus Christ, Eric!"

He holds up his hands, he surrenders! "I'm only saying. Arlene Fowler still leaves voicemails she thinks are anonymous on Fangtasia's voicemail - calling me a murderer, a fanger, a cheat, a liar. This town still holds me responsible." Eric lowers his head as if he's ashamed. "I... I'm concerned. About you. That's all." 

Like he's ashamed to have feelings, let alone have them for Jason.

"Is this what you wanna do, Eric? Do you..." The lump in his throat is nearly impossible to stifle. "Do you want to be with me? Do you want this to be more than just tonight? More than just... sex or whatever the hell this was?"

Eric looks back up at him with a somber expression. He can feel his heart already breaking from it, but Eric simply leans in, cups Jason's cheek in his huge hand and studies his face for only a moment before he meets Jason's eyes, blue against brown, and if Jason isn't careful he could drown in those eyes.

"Yes." It's simple and straightforward and Jason feels all the breath escape from his lungs, especially as he sets a kiss to Jason's lips. "There are... many things I would like to tell you, but I fear now is neither the right time nor the place to say them. I will see you again, tonight. Perhaps it's best to not worry over such things."

"Maybe we better just wait until we know what... what we're dealin' with. What this is. Y'know?"

Eric gifts him a small smile and another kiss. "Whatever you say, Stackhouse. I will call you before I leave the bar."

And with that, Eric leaves just as simply as he came.

He can hear the door shut downstairs, hear Eric's car start and listens as it pulls out of the driveway and away from the house. Jason kinda feels like Eric is taking his will to live with him, too.

It's not even dawn, yet. It's still that odd periwinkle color outside, that in-between mauve that makes you feel like you're alive and dead all at the same time. Jason is used to being awake at this hour - it comes with the job, being a cop. He feels like a pretty shitty one, though - he couldn't even find his own sister.

With a sigh, Jason rises from the bed, makes it back exactly as he and Eric had found it. His squad car is still parked outside and he knows the crew will be showing up any minute to finish some a few more renovations, so he needs to get going. Go back to his house and spend the entire day pretending he didn't just have an insane amount of sex with Eric Northman. He'll get a few hours of shuteye before he's gotta be up, got some filing at the station to do, a few odd jobs here and there and no doubt he'll get a list of phone calls about Andy's erratic behavior, _on top of_ dealing with the rising crime rate in Bon Temps.

He never expected Sookie to come back on top of everything else.


End file.
